Archive
Gentle Networking
As you will know from previous posts – I really like the work/blogs/books of Chris Brogan. He’s just launched a new blog called Escape Velocity – and one of the first blog posts he has created is about “Gentle Networking”.
I can’t think of a better term to describe “how to” develop a Personal Network. His post is full of popular themes:-
GIVING
“it’s not what people can do for you; it’s what you can do for others.”
“That’s the secret. If you can do a lot for a lot of people without needing
…..Thank you for visiting. My blog has moved. You can find the rest of this post by clicking here.
the money, then the bigger ticket paybacks end up being amazing, and you end up having a strong and powerful network.”
“you MUST do these things without EXPECTING anything back. This is the super secret (and really really really hard to learn) part of this.”
This mantra is called “Pay it Forward” by Neal Schaffer, “Giver’s Gain” by Dr. Ivan Misner, “Don’t keep score” by Keith Ferrazzi and “Love Cats” by Tim Sanders.
FARMING – NOT HUNTING
“However, you can’t rush networking. You can’t rush friendship. You can’t rush the serendipity effect that happens from these experiences. Just like you can’t dig a hole, throw some seeds in, and wait a few minutes for the apple to fall into your hand, you have to grow your network slowly, and feed it value. You have to find opportunities to tend it, to give it light (by promoting others), and you have to give it plenty of water (or potential deal flow) to make it worthwhile.”
“We’ve connected each other with others in our networks. THIS is the longer value yield of gentle networking.”
Again, Dr. Ivan Misner’s puts this forward in his book “Networking Like a PRO” – and others follow the theme.
Chris is keen on “a face to face connection”. I’m also a fan of “real-life” relationships – and find that on-line networking is a poor substitute. However, I would take the view that with distant contacts (weak ties) on-line is an effective way to “ping” and keep in touch. I’m coming to the conclusion that the Pareto principle should be prescribed to networking time – 20% on-line (communicating efficiently with the many) and 80% real world (building deeper relationships with the few).
Chris’s “Gentle Networking” pulls together many of the key principles of Personal Networking so neatly. Do subscribe to Chris’s Escape Velocity blog and newsletter – it’s a good read (and hopefully a healthy supplement to this blog!).
Love is the Killer App – Tim Sanders – Book Review & Mind Map
You will have seen earlier in the blog that Tim Sanders kindly let me quote a passage from his blog – SandersSays His reply to my request was very much in character: “Love it, Phil! You have my permission – thanks for sharing the Love.”
Well, I thought that with such a positive reply – I should read the 2002 First Edition copy of his book that I’d found second hand on Amazon … and make it my first book review on the blog. Here goes…
The book was read in one session (on a nice sunny day in the garden!). The “Knowledge” and “Network” sections are a particularly
…..Thank you for visiting. My blog has moved. You can find the rest of this post by clicking here.
good read. One of the lessons learnt from the book was that if you are going to read a book – take some serious notes and note down at the end what you think the Big Thought was from the book.
I’ve never been a great note taker – but thought I would try to Mind Map the book with the software that I am keeping my “Personal Network” Network up to date on – MindMeister. Take a look at the MindMap of Tim’s Book – I’d be interested to see if this is helpful to others?
The three elements that I took from the book were:-
* In the business world it can be a very successful strategy to be generous and giving. He has a great mantra – NSPS “Nice, smart people succeed.”
* An important tool in this giving process is sharing knowledge with your friends and contacts. Tim has an excellent perspective on books which I will share later.
* A healthy network is “fed” by you making connections through giving & sharing your knowledge with others.
The book is a useful source if you are looking for some ideas on business reading. Although the book is now a little dated (published first in 2002) – I suspect that the references are still very relevant to business today. Take a look at the MindMap – there’s lots of references to Tim’s favorite books throughout. Certainly, Malcolm Gladwell’s “The Tipping Point” is next on my reading pile (and that’s mentioned frequently),
Tim emphasises the positive aspects for you and your network in giving and sharing ideas. He puts forward that you should be the hunter/gatherer of information for your network. He also sees that through this knowledge base you should evangelise about new ideas. It’s an interesting concept – and Tim seems to have a humble approach to this (it’s know that he knows it all – he just knows a new idea through a book he has read by someone else.)
This theory will appeal to those with a thirst for knowledge (I’d count myself amongst these folk). It also gives you a positive application for that knowledge by giving to your network selflessly. Tim has a cool way of working out what he reads (he use the analogy for dining) with Magazine Articles – Between-meal snacks, News Media (electronic or print) – Candy & Soda, fun to eat, but hardly appropriate to live on and (his favourite!) Books – the complete thought meal. It’s changed my perspective – and when you think that the other lighter meals are shoveled with those nasty additives (advertising!), you can see why books get a big thumbs up.
I liked the section on Networks. I share the desire to impart information to others – and he talks well about fusing connections with this. It’s also not a cynical view of giving in order to receive back (either payment as a broker – or expectation of a favour in return). Interestingly he illustrates through personal examples how at the edges this can go wrong (when people he introduce cut him out of a deal) and when it goes right (when a contact – out of the blue – gives him share in his company that floats).
My British reserve makes me cringe slightly through the final “Compassion” section. I’m not the huggy/touchy feely type – so this is a little lost on me. Maybe if I meet Tim at some point and he gives me a hug I will understand the “Love”.
In summary, on my journey exploring personal networks, this is a fantastic book that helps you to understand the principle of giving generously to feed a network and applying yourself to gaining knowledge to to have something relevant to offer to your network. I like the core principle of selflessness in that giving (very much like Keith Ferrazzi’s not keeping score in my earlier blog.) I would also say, that personally, Tim’s tips on encoding and processing books are excellent – and will be in my blogging/networking toolkit from now on.
Great book – “Loved it!”. Thank you, Tim.
Reading List – the research so far … and the summer reading shelf
As mentioned, I have been running up my Amazon bill doing this Personal Network research. See the picture of my Personal Network bookshelf…..
I’ve created a list on my LinkedIn Profile – http://uk.linkedin.com/in/philobr. I would be interested
…..Thank you for visiting. My blog has moved. You can find the rest of this post by clicking here.
if you have any other suggestions. List – as of this evening – is below. I need to get reading….
Profit Power Economics: A New Competitive Strategy for Creating Sustainable Wealth
by Mia de Kuijper
Phil has read this book
Recommended
Comment: “Mia actually signed the book for me – I’d gone to shelter from the rain in Waterstones at the back of the LSE … and I could not resist. Fascinating read – especially if you transpose her thoughts on power nodes as the business units of the future …. to individuals. One day, I will be a power node…..”
Trust Agents: Using the Web to Build Influence, Improve Reputation, and Earn Trust
by Chris Brogan, Julien Smith
Phil wants to read this book
Comment: “Bought, on the shelf … and soon to be read!”
The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference
by Malcolm Gladwell
Phil wants to read this book
Comment: “In my bag for reading on holiday. Will do a short review soon. I found an extract on Malcolm’s blog – and he kindly game me permission to use on my blog. Nice guy.”
The 4-Hour Workweek, Expanded and Updated: Expanded and Updated, With Over 100 New Pages of Cutting-Edge Content.
by Timothy Ferriss
Phil has read this book
Recommended
Comment: “I’ve read it – I got my wife to read it … and I’m going to send a copy to a few friends. Tim does a great job on getting you focussed on what is important in life. thought provoking….”
Different: Escaping the Competitive Herd
by Youngme Moon
Phil wants to read this book
Comment: “On the shelf – and will be read soon!”
Six Pixels of Separation: Everyone Is Connected. Connect Your Business to Everyone.
by Mitch Joel
Phil has read this book
Recommended
Comment: “Would thoroughly recommend this book. Mitch Joel is one of the ever increasing band of Canadians setting the digital networking and blogging world on fire. This book got me over the line to create my blog – and is a great read.”
Who’s Got Your Back: The Breakthrough Program to Build Deep, Trusting Relationships That Create Success–and Won’t Let You Fail
by Keith Ferrazzi
Phil is reading this book
Comment: “This is on my summer list – and I’m about 1/3rd of the way through. I do like that even though Keith is obviously a confident guy – he will share how he has got things wrong and helps others to learn through the occasional failure. More soon….”
Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time
by Keith Ferrazzi, Tahl Raz
Phil has read this book
Recommended
Comment: “Keith Ferrazzi is a leader in the world of networking. This books gives a great overview for anyone who wants to improve their networking skills. It’s a little “american” for a Brit like myself … we are a pretty reserved race. However, the principles and tips are excellent – and the principles sound. “
Six Degrees of Connection: How to Unlock Your Leadership Potential (Volume 1)
by Liz Dow
Phil wants to read this book
Comment: “I’ve bought this – and had a quick skim. I am going to read after the “Tipping Point” by Malcolm Gladwell – which this book and Liz’s work was inspired by.”
Brilliant Networking: What the Best Networkers Know, Do, and Say
by Steven D’Souza
Phil wants to read this book
Comment: “Brilliant (BRIGHT) cover – and an amazing quote/speech from Robert Muller of the UN in the intro/preface. On the reading list for the summer”
Personal Networking: How to Make Your Connections Count
by Mick Cope
Phil wants to read this book
Comment: “Bought from amazon – and on the reading list. I like the FT business books – I used one of these books (on Business Plans) as a reference throughout my business life. Looking forward to reading.”
Social Network Analysis: Methods and Applications (Structural Analysis in the Social Sciences)
by Stanley Wasserman, Katherine Faust
Phil wants to read this book
Comment: “Now – we are talking SERIOUS book here. Dan (my technical partner) and myself are battling for who reads this one first. I was attracted by the fact the book series was edited by Mark Granovetter (who developed the idea of “strength in weak ties” in the 70s). Will be a challenge to read … with my little brain…!”
How Many Friends Does One Person Need?: Dunbar’s Number and Other Evolutionary Quirks
by Robin Dunbar
Phil wants to read this book
Comment: “I’d read about the principle that you should have/only need 150 friends/contacts. Research lead me to Robin Dunbar (this is called the Dunbar Number). In the bag to be read this summer.”
Six Degrees: The Science of a Connected Age (Open Market Edition)
by Duncan J. Watts
Phil wants to read this book
Comment: “On my reading list – and on the shelf. Will get read this summer.”
Connected
by Christakis, Nicholas A., Fowler, James H.
Phil wants to read this book
Comment: “This is waiting to be read on my shelf. Flick through says that it’s going to be a great resource to understand about visualising Personal Networks.”
Bursts: The Hidden Pattern Behind Everything We Do
by Albert-Laszlo Barabasi
Phil wants to read this book
Comment: “The follow up to “Linked” – on my shelf and ready to be read this summer.”
Linked: How Everything Is Connected to Everything Else and What It Means
by Albert-Laszlo Barabasi
Phil has read this book
Recommended
Comment: “This is the very best book to give an overview of how similar our personal networks are to other networks (all the way down to chemical protein!!). He guides you through with anecdotes and thorough research. A copy should be on the shelf of anyone serious about networking.”
Love Is the Killer App: How to Win Business and Influence Friends
by Tim Sanders
Phil has read this book
Recommended
Comment: “Really enjoyable – and quick – read. Love his principle of being so positive in the business environment. I share his views on focussing on giving/doing the right thing … but as a Brit, not sure about all the hugging!! Buy and give your nice side a run out at work….”
Networking Like a Pro: Turning Contacts into Connections (Paperback)
by Ivan Misner (Author)David Alexander (Author) Brian Hilliard (Author)
Phil has read this book
Recommended
Comment: “This is a very good book to give you a view of the process of networking. Ivan Misner is an authority on the subject – and runs the BNI (which is heavily promoted throughout). Gives a good overview fo the principles of how networks work.”
“Your Network is your Net Worth!”
As I research the subject of Personal Networks further. I am finding many more resources on the subject – and my Amazon account is taking some hammering! It’s interesting that it’s often the older books & research (from 1970s through to early 2000s) that seem to be hitting the mark for me. I think some of this is because in recent times the focus of most writing has been on the rapid growth of Social Networking. I believe that your personal network should be reviewed in the round – and the focus just on social networking can be damaging to contacts not actively on-line (and those
…..Thank you for visiting. My blog has moved. You can find the rest of this post by clicking here.
hard to find people you would like to meet).
One quote I came across today was a header on a page of Keith Ferrazzi’s website.
“Your network is your net worth … Add to your personal bottom line with better networking and bigger relationships.” Tim Sanders, Author of Love is the Killer App.
I passionately believe that this is right – and very few people value their Personal Network enough. Tim’s book seems to be out of print in the UK now – but Amazon have come up with a second-hand version that is being shipped to me.
Anxious to find more about Tim Sanders, I headed off to his website. He has a great post on the subject. It’s quoted below (with Tim’s permission) – and has an excellent networking tip at the end.
“Your network is your net worth. So why don’t you invest time in it?
Think about it. Much of your future rides on one of your network contacts. Your network of personal relationships, filed in databases like Outlook or Yahoo’s Address Book, is the number one source of opportunities and solutions for you.
Yet you don’t invest much time in it at all. You probably spend five to ten times more personal effort making sure your Inbox is empty — yet that yields very little value. Time invested in entering personal contacts, spending time with them and keeping the relationship fresh is much more valuable time spent.
Recommended: Do the random refresh exercise every Thursday for the next four weeks. Here’s how the exercise works: You randomly pick three names from your rolodex or address book. Call them on the phone and devote fifteen minutes to playing catchup. Agree to do something with at least one of them, even if it is just a call or lunch in the future. The whole month’s effort should cost you less than four hours, yet potentially yield something great. Try it and report results later under comments.”
I’m definitely going to become a follower of his blog – and will review his book when it arrives.
Tim speaks a lot of sense!
PLEASE NOTE - my website has moved to http://www.philobrien.com. Please continue your journey there!. Best wishes. Phil
Personal Network Blog 